Talking About Limits

Those who know me are aware of how much I talk about being happy and how much it depends on happiness itself. There's even a more dedicated thought on happiness in the text: "Life is a contract", which you can find around here.

As one of the pillars of happiness is freedom, and freedom is related to limits, I decided to talk about this topic. In a way that might make it sound more interesting, and even pleasant.

I'll start off like this:

if you have a problem with limits, probably something is not quite resolved within you.

Until we gain life experience, limits are something we don't quite understand, especially those who live under the yoke of belief, order, or dependence on others. Just by mentioning the word, youngsters already shudder!

Who Defines Themselves Limits Themselves

I learned this phrase when I was a teenager, and it was said by one of the most superficial people I knew at the time, but I saw sense in it, and I never forgot.

The Building Example

Thinking about this apparent conflict between freedom and limits, I tried to imagine an example, and as a father, I didn't have to look far, here's what I imagined:

Imagine you're buying an apartment on the fifth floor of a building. The floor is still without walls, doors, windows, divisions, and you go to visit the construction to see how it's going. You bring your 3 children and would you let them loose while you talk with the real estate agent in your future apartment? ... Have you thought about it? ... It's sickening just to imagine! See how some simple things start to get complicated depending on the situation? Now imagine the same situation, but change the apartment's status to "with walls", a place where children could roam free and without risk, ...quite different, right?

And so on, life moves forward and experience teaches us to deal with limits, especially using them as important tools to achieve our freedom.

Some tips to use the notion of limits to your advantage:

• Knowing what you're dealing with helps you make decisions to impose or expand limits
• Knowing your own limits reduces your risks
• Knowing your limits gives you freedom
• It's about self-awareness, learning about the paths of your life that have to do with your identity and what's truly important to you

Respect

Have you ever been through a classic situation or seen someone going through it, where you hear a response like this:

• "I didn't give you confidence, you crossed your limits!"

So..

1. the principle of respect comes from the notion of limits, it starts with limits
2. every disrespectful person is someone without a notion of limits or who ignores limits
3. knowing limits gives you more freedom and enhances the principle of respect in you

Here at home, we as parents, are the voice of command for our children. Until they can define and manage their own limits and agenda, they will deal with the ones we teach them.